Breaking News Story: Another Woman Falls Prey to Penis Enlargement Naturally Induced Shock (PENIS)

Kathy — “Good Evening. This is Kathy Cupcake from WPNS with this late-breaking news story. In another case of Penis Enlargement Gone Wild, another woman has fallen News website  victim to an overly large penis size. Peter Sizemore is now, live, on the scene, to give us the shocking details. Over to you, Peter:”

Peter — “Thank you, Kathy. Folks, it’s another case of Penis Enlargement Naturally Induced Shock (PENIS) I’m afraid. It’s the same old story: girl meets guy, guy meets girl, they date a few times, and eventually head of to the bedroom. Unfortunately, this is another case where a man, who has enlarged his penis to massive proportions, has failed to tell his girlfriend what was in store for her and the results are clearly devastating. In this instance, poor Suzy Wantall was the latest victim in the endless stream of PENIS cases that have taken the country by surprise. Since penis enlargement has become such an enormous fad we… Wait! Hold on, here comes the poor woman now, being wheeled out on a stretcher with oxygen!”

Peter — “Suzy! Excuse me! Suzy, Suzy Wantall… I’m Peter Sizemore from WPNS, do you mind if I ask you a few questions for the audience at home; can you tell us what happened…? Can you describe the events that took place…? How do you feel; are you okay?”

Suzy — “Yeah, well, I’m still groggy and still a bit shocked. Just look at my hands, they’re still shaking. You know, Richard seemed like such a normal and average sort of guy, you know what I mean, he just seemed like such a nice guy… I never expected him to be as, you know.. Big, I mean really big like that… I mean he was huge… Scary huge… And I have to admit… I just wasn’t ready for it. You know, I just wasn’t ready… When he undid his pants, it was like this giant anaconda was being released into the room… When he unleashed that huge thing… I… I… I… I just wasn’t ready for it, I mean, I didn’t know what to do and, you know, I’m just terrified of snakes; and I started to feel light headed and it felt like this cloud was rushing to my head, I started feeling dizzy, and then, you know, that’s all I remember, I guess I just passed out…”

Peter — “We’re sorry to hear that Suzy, we really are. Is there anything else you can add to what happened?”

Suzy — “Well, yeah, you know, girls, you need to be careful out there. I’m serious. If you can, ask around and find it out if a guy’s been doing those penis exercise things or not, because, you know, chances are if you’re not prepared for what you’re going to see… Well, you’re… You’re going to wind up just like me….”

Peter — “Thank you, Suzy, one more question, if you don’t mind: What happened to this guy, what did you say his name was, Richard?”

Suzy — “Yeah, Richard. I’m not sure what happened to him, you know. I though I heard someone say my father found him and was chasing after him like he was going to kill him. Right now… I don’t know where he is, but, you know, I’m really afraid for his life.”

Peter — “Are you going to press PENIS charges against him?”

Suzy — “Oh Peter, oh no, oh no! I’m hoping he presses them against me! I’m dying to see him again, in fact I can’t possibly wait to see him again. Now that I’m over the initial shock of it all, I definitely want to hook up with him again; you know, I hope my dad understands… Wait, wait… Wait a minute… Hold on… Becky…? Becky is that you… Richard? Wait! Where are you going! There he is with my sister! Wait! Wait! Don’t run off! She’s stealing my boyfriend!!! Richard, you son of a b…”

Peter — “Ahem! There you have it, folks, another case of PENIS. Parents, warn your daughters about the dangers of PENIS and help them learn the warning signs of a man who has enlarged himself to such massive proportions!”

Peter — “Back to you, Kathy!”

Leave a Comment